I don't usually do New Year's resolutions-I see them as just another false start for me and most others. But this year I feel able to set some goals for the year, and I think the focus may be a good thing. Too easy to get lost in daily things, both good and bad. I forget to lift my head and see where I am in relation to the universe. Some of these are things I already practice, but I wanted to remind myself of what is important to me as I move into 2011. The gift of a new year...
Balance and gratitude are the overarching goals for 2011.
Too much of anything is probably going to cost me my teeth, my wallet or my soul. And an attitude of thankfulness seems right-I have so much to be thankful for, and it's easy to start griping and forget that.
I went a long time without new friends, having left or lost the friends I had when my children were small by moving across country, being too busy, and inattentive. This year I will nourish my new friendships.
I will get dirt under my fingernails (this is really cheating, as I don't think I could continue to breathe if I didn't garden too).
I will strive to be a good citizen of the world.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
My rules
Ok, not in any particular order, I am giving you my rules for life. For tonight, just 2:
1. Be kind if you can; if you can't be kind, be civil.
2. No one has the right to decide if your life is good, only you can determine that.
3. Nobody can do everything; everyone can do something.
ok, that was 3. To be continued.
1. Be kind if you can; if you can't be kind, be civil.
2. No one has the right to decide if your life is good, only you can determine that.
3. Nobody can do everything; everyone can do something.
ok, that was 3. To be continued.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas
Merry Christmas! My first law school Christmas, and it has been instructive. There are so many other things going on in my life right now-perhaps always. And a law student I am, but so many other things too. I shall strive to balance them all better in 2011.
Relationships-are overrated when you are in them, and sorely missed when not. Easy to make decisions for the wrong reason.
My garden-the soil and the plants call to me.
And the world-I must not stop traveling.
Hard to fit it all in, let alone work and daily tasks.
Relationships-are overrated when you are in them, and sorely missed when not. Easy to make decisions for the wrong reason.
My garden-the soil and the plants call to me.
And the world-I must not stop traveling.
Hard to fit it all in, let alone work and daily tasks.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
midnight and almost Christmas
Exams are over, traumatic as they were. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and all is well, even though it is not. Christmas has a way of making it so. It's nearly midnight and I should be sleeping, but I think I'm excited about Christmas. And I want to savor this feeling of hope and pleasure-going to sleep will end this natural buzz, and I want to prolong it.
In spite of my schedule, and all of the chaos of life, I think I have two friends. This is a rare gift, once one has passed the point of young parenthood, and I do not take it for granted. Two souls who seem to share my appreciation of life and some of the same path, but enough different to keep me thinking, and willing, I think, to call me on my shit. We shall see, I know I need to nurture these friendships. This is my gift to myself this year-to be a friend and to have a friend. Merry Christmas
In spite of my schedule, and all of the chaos of life, I think I have two friends. This is a rare gift, once one has passed the point of young parenthood, and I do not take it for granted. Two souls who seem to share my appreciation of life and some of the same path, but enough different to keep me thinking, and willing, I think, to call me on my shit. We shall see, I know I need to nurture these friendships. This is my gift to myself this year-to be a friend and to have a friend. Merry Christmas
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Exams
I’ve been woefully absent from here, due to increased and sustained pressure at work, coupled with the impending exams for our first full semester of law school.
I have completed one exam, for Criminal Law, and have 2 more this week. Because we are in a part-time program, these are the only 3 substantive classes for this semester. Even though I felt prepared for the Crim Law exam, I am not too certain about my grade, as I find our professor a bit quirky. She has a healthy ego, and I am pretty sure anything she thought was an attempt to show off on her exams would result in negative consequences. And sometimes she thinks people are showing off or being obnoxious when there is not intent. This was the first real exam as well, so that was a factor
I got there early, as instructed, in order to use Examsoft, a governing software that locks up your laptop so that you can type your test, but not access the internet or any information you have stored on your computer. I was anxious but confident, ready to get it done. Then my computer did not seem to want to let me sign on and I freaked out, albeit silently. I reinstalled Examsoft and recovered my equanimity. I stepped out of the classroom about 15 minutes before the exam was to begin, to avoid the chatter in the room. I had on my iPod, listening to Christmas music.
At that point, I got an urgent text from someone at work, and so I called her. I knew it was a bad idea, but I felt I must. Upsetting news, really upsetting, but I had to get in to the exam and so I told her I would talk with her tomorrow and went in for the exam.
Finally, time to start. Focus, relax, you know this. Don’t allow the importance of the situation cause you to blank out. I have done outlines, studied black letter law, taken practice tests, I am as ready as I am going to be. Begin. We had 2 one-hour essay questions and then a set of MBE’s-these are multiple choice questions designed to trick you into answering them wrong-no kidding. Really.
About a half hour into the first question, my computer froze up. No error message, nothing. I waited a few moments, then typed some more, still nothing. What the fuck! Holy shit, now what!!!?? I looked at the front of the room-no proctor, no blue books.I took a deep breath and got up, heading to the office to get blue books, when I saw a stack of them toward the back of the room. And so I told myself it did not matter, and I started writing.
The Dean came in around the end of the first hour and was very unsympathetic, unprofessional and offputting. I had no energy to give to him, however, so I refocused on what I was doing and put him and his words out of my mind. No time to lose, as the second question was a doozy. It had 4 people committing a litany of crimes and I had a lot to scribble. The professor had said she is pretty good at reading bad handwriting-I certainly hope that is true. Mine is bad at any time, but after writing for more than an hour, it got noticeably worse.
About 2/3rds of the way through the second essay question, sort of on the home stretch, I found my mind being sucked away to the work problem I had learned of just before the exam. I really had to work to keep my mind on the exam, and press forward.
I felt I knew the law, and recognized the appropriate crimes, elements, etc. I won’t know until late January though, so for now I just have to go with that.
Having survived my first test, I feel more ready for the other 2. More studying to do, of course, but mentally ready for the challenge.
I am not so happy with the law school’s response on exam night. If I behaved that way at work when things went wrong, I would be in trouble. And while I do not expect any leniency, I do expect courtesy and professionalism, which were noticeably absent on exam night.
At any rate, on to the next thing. I will find an appropriate venue for my criticism and feedback at some point but I can’t waste energy on it right now.
I think one of our classmates may be cheating. But I have no evidence on which to base that, so it would be slanderous to say so.
2 days to Contracts, and one of them a work day. Can't seem to settle down, but I know I must.
I have completed one exam, for Criminal Law, and have 2 more this week. Because we are in a part-time program, these are the only 3 substantive classes for this semester. Even though I felt prepared for the Crim Law exam, I am not too certain about my grade, as I find our professor a bit quirky. She has a healthy ego, and I am pretty sure anything she thought was an attempt to show off on her exams would result in negative consequences. And sometimes she thinks people are showing off or being obnoxious when there is not intent. This was the first real exam as well, so that was a factor
I got there early, as instructed, in order to use Examsoft, a governing software that locks up your laptop so that you can type your test, but not access the internet or any information you have stored on your computer. I was anxious but confident, ready to get it done. Then my computer did not seem to want to let me sign on and I freaked out, albeit silently. I reinstalled Examsoft and recovered my equanimity. I stepped out of the classroom about 15 minutes before the exam was to begin, to avoid the chatter in the room. I had on my iPod, listening to Christmas music.
At that point, I got an urgent text from someone at work, and so I called her. I knew it was a bad idea, but I felt I must. Upsetting news, really upsetting, but I had to get in to the exam and so I told her I would talk with her tomorrow and went in for the exam.
Finally, time to start. Focus, relax, you know this. Don’t allow the importance of the situation cause you to blank out. I have done outlines, studied black letter law, taken practice tests, I am as ready as I am going to be. Begin. We had 2 one-hour essay questions and then a set of MBE’s-these are multiple choice questions designed to trick you into answering them wrong-no kidding. Really.
About a half hour into the first question, my computer froze up. No error message, nothing. I waited a few moments, then typed some more, still nothing. What the fuck! Holy shit, now what!!!?? I looked at the front of the room-no proctor, no blue books.I took a deep breath and got up, heading to the office to get blue books, when I saw a stack of them toward the back of the room. And so I told myself it did not matter, and I started writing.
The Dean came in around the end of the first hour and was very unsympathetic, unprofessional and offputting. I had no energy to give to him, however, so I refocused on what I was doing and put him and his words out of my mind. No time to lose, as the second question was a doozy. It had 4 people committing a litany of crimes and I had a lot to scribble. The professor had said she is pretty good at reading bad handwriting-I certainly hope that is true. Mine is bad at any time, but after writing for more than an hour, it got noticeably worse.
About 2/3rds of the way through the second essay question, sort of on the home stretch, I found my mind being sucked away to the work problem I had learned of just before the exam. I really had to work to keep my mind on the exam, and press forward.
I felt I knew the law, and recognized the appropriate crimes, elements, etc. I won’t know until late January though, so for now I just have to go with that.
Having survived my first test, I feel more ready for the other 2. More studying to do, of course, but mentally ready for the challenge.
I am not so happy with the law school’s response on exam night. If I behaved that way at work when things went wrong, I would be in trouble. And while I do not expect any leniency, I do expect courtesy and professionalism, which were noticeably absent on exam night.
At any rate, on to the next thing. I will find an appropriate venue for my criticism and feedback at some point but I can’t waste energy on it right now.
I think one of our classmates may be cheating. But I have no evidence on which to base that, so it would be slanderous to say so.
2 days to Contracts, and one of them a work day. Can't seem to settle down, but I know I must.
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