Last night I dreamed of being assigned a task so complex, so multi-layered that I felt the anxiety rise within me, as each time I thought I had it in hand, the overseer pointed out yet another aspect of the process that I had not even realized existed. I feared failure, I felt the task was insurmountable, yet I kept trying.
I woke up thinking about that dream, and its significance. I'm not a person who ascribes particular meaning to dreams generally, but even I can see the source of this one.
I'm in my mid 50's, finishing law school with of course no idea how to be a lawyer, and simultaneously my current job appears to be going away by means of the company being acquired. It's a blessing and a curse, of course. It will push me out of the nest quite literally, but hey-that ground is really far down there, and I'm not sure I remember how to fly! And I've grown accustomed to this comfort of being a SME (subject matter expert), of knowing how to do the job before me, and frankly, to a paycheck.
But I can't stay, so these days I'm inspecting my wings for rust and other signs of deterioration.
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