"Though I liked the companionship and it had considerably lessened the anxiety of our wait..., it nevertheless deprived me of the greatest thrill the sense of discovery had given me on previous journeys. I had lost the intense joy, the intoxication, of blazing my own trail and the proud sense of being able to get through it alone..."
Ella Maillart, on traveling with a companion
Life is a tradeoff, it seems. To find that glorious sense of discovery, that intoxication, one must needs be alone. And then there is no one ever to share the intensity of that intoxication. Still, it is the solitary path whose siren song I cannot ignore.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
in consideration of marriage
It started as a mental exercise in figuring out if there was some reason why certain people should be proscribed from marrying. If so, why? If not, why the opposition to allowing other than a man and woman to marry?
And that led to a consideration of what marriage really is-not to a cynic like me, but to those who want to be married and who may find satisfaction in such a relationship.
From there the question of whether this is a civil, religious or other kind of relationship, and what is the government's legitimate interest in regulating marriage?
Ah, but the path continues to fork and multiply, and I am hopelessly lost. I have a 12-15 page paper to write for my LGBT class, and I've chosen to write about whether it is a violation of our constitutional equal protection rights to allow some to marry, and not others. And even further down that path, why do we give married couples the privileges they are afforded? Tax benefits, wrongful death actions, property rights and more.
All to be explored, but I don't think I can fit all of this in 12 pages double spaced.
And that led to a consideration of what marriage really is-not to a cynic like me, but to those who want to be married and who may find satisfaction in such a relationship.
From there the question of whether this is a civil, religious or other kind of relationship, and what is the government's legitimate interest in regulating marriage?
Ah, but the path continues to fork and multiply, and I am hopelessly lost. I have a 12-15 page paper to write for my LGBT class, and I've chosen to write about whether it is a violation of our constitutional equal protection rights to allow some to marry, and not others. And even further down that path, why do we give married couples the privileges they are afforded? Tax benefits, wrongful death actions, property rights and more.
All to be explored, but I don't think I can fit all of this in 12 pages double spaced.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
awe and the awesomeness of daily life
Is it sustainable? I doubt it. Like gratitude, it slips away when we take our eyes off it for just the smallest sliver of time. And yet, there is so much to be in awe of.
It's the little things-a nod of recognition, the way the sun hits my skin, a conversation that satisfies. These grease the skids of everyday life in ways that big, momentous events cannot.
I try to fill my cup up every day. Often I overfill it, and messes ensue. Grand, glorious gut-wrenching chaos. But I am alive.
It's the little things-a nod of recognition, the way the sun hits my skin, a conversation that satisfies. These grease the skids of everyday life in ways that big, momentous events cannot.
I try to fill my cup up every day. Often I overfill it, and messes ensue. Grand, glorious gut-wrenching chaos. But I am alive.
Monday, May 21, 2012
suspension in mid-air
Sometimes I get a sense that we are holding reality in abeyance as we attend law school. Or perhaps attending is not the right verb. It's such an intense, all-consuming endeavor, and attending feels a bit too passive to describe it. Still, I wonder about the loss when we are finally done. This community of people also traveling this path, the sacrifice required that others don't quite get, and the shared trauma of the hard work, then waiting for grades, seeing some that we feel a strong connection to fall away...all tends to create an isolated, insulated experience that naturally incline us toward each other. Some people I might never have associated with absent this shared endeavor, but here we are.
I know we can't stay in this state forever, nor do I desire that. But I doubt the landing will be as good as the ride, and it will ever after be a memory.
I know we can't stay in this state forever, nor do I desire that. But I doubt the landing will be as good as the ride, and it will ever after be a memory.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
time to exhale
Second year has come and gone. While it was in process, it seemed like a long dark tunnel, hard work every step of the way. We've emerged into the light at the end, some of us anyway. More have fallen by the way, impossible as it seems.
My summer classes are LGBT (Sexuality and the Law), Trial Practice and Small Claims Clinic.
The LGBT class looks at areas such as transgender and gay/lesbian issues in the realm of employment law, Title VII, §1938 actions, right to marry, parental and other family law issues, etc. So far the most striking element has been a close look at the legal issues that transgender persons deal with. This is a small class of 10 students, and is almost entirely discussion based. No exam, but some papers to write.
The Trial Practice class is fantastic. Taught by two successful litigators, we are working through various components of a jury trial, class is in the courtroom, and we will complete the class with a mock trial. Engaging, exhilarating and packed with useful information.
The Small Claims clinic will involve assisting people who want to either file a claim or have had one filed against them-with the forms, the process and some discussion of the likelihood that their claim/defense has legal merit. It's supposed to be a churn and burn, 5 minutes or so to a client. Not sure about this one but I need the experience, so here I go.
Meanwhile I even have time to live a little. I've been reading other things, gardening, and spending time with friends. The respite is welcome.
My summer classes are LGBT (Sexuality and the Law), Trial Practice and Small Claims Clinic.
The LGBT class looks at areas such as transgender and gay/lesbian issues in the realm of employment law, Title VII, §1938 actions, right to marry, parental and other family law issues, etc. So far the most striking element has been a close look at the legal issues that transgender persons deal with. This is a small class of 10 students, and is almost entirely discussion based. No exam, but some papers to write.
The Trial Practice class is fantastic. Taught by two successful litigators, we are working through various components of a jury trial, class is in the courtroom, and we will complete the class with a mock trial. Engaging, exhilarating and packed with useful information.
The Small Claims clinic will involve assisting people who want to either file a claim or have had one filed against them-with the forms, the process and some discussion of the likelihood that their claim/defense has legal merit. It's supposed to be a churn and burn, 5 minutes or so to a client. Not sure about this one but I need the experience, so here I go.
Meanwhile I even have time to live a little. I've been reading other things, gardening, and spending time with friends. The respite is welcome.
morals and law revisited
response paper written for my LGBT class
Freedom to be who I am, without apology, without being labeled-my defiant claim of right does not make it so.
Llewellyn says that there are two camps on rights: the idealists; and the cynics, or realists. The idealist sees rights as things. Primary rights are something such as my right to have you perform on your contract with me. They are not real in themselves, but are the substance of the law. Enforceability of that right is another, separate thing, and is not the primary thing. The right is, but the inability of the law to fully enforce it is not a problem. Remedies inadequate-these are not a conflict, because you still have your rights. This seems like cold comfort to the person who has been wronged.
The cynic/realist, on the other hand, sees rights as that which is enforceable, for which there is real remedy: if no remedy, no right. As he puts it "defect of remedy is defect of right." The law can really only be seen as it has effect, as it leaves its mark.
The power to be who we are is so fundamental it almost seems redundant to express it. While I would suggest that most of us feel constrained in some way by societal expectations, such core expressions as our gender identity, and our sexual identity are presumed rights for most Americans. These concepts of self have a profound impact on our daily lives, on almost every component of life. When that basic ability is withheld, it is not surprising that the damage includes a high rate of suicide and depression. Loss of control, of the right to choose, strips me of my value as a person, makes me insignificant in the larger whole. Worse, for the transgender person, it often makes them a freak, a deviant in the eyes of society. What then does the law do to ameliorate this situation?
H.L.A. Hart asks the question, "Is the fact that certain conduct is by common standards immoral sufficient to justify making that conduct punishable by law?” In the context of sexual identity and expression, when the majority of our society finds certain conduct immoral, does that justify laws proscribing such conduct? Is law the enforcement of morality, or are law and morals distinct and overlapping concepts?
I concur with John Stuart Mill when he said "The only purpose for which power can rightfully be exercised over any member of a civilised (sic) community against his will is to prevent harm to others." (On Liberty) He went on to clarify that one can not be made to do or forbear from doing something just because it is for his/her own physical or moral good.
Society, of course, can find its own ways to exert pressure, but when the law becomes a tool to secure conformity, then society is the loser as well as the individuals who are impacted. Hart says that to use coercion to maintain the moral status quo at any point in a society's history would be to artificially arrest the process that gives social institutions their value. I know so little about the law at this point, but it seems to me that a law such as the Federal Defense of Marriage Act is an example of just that kind of coercion. I don't suggest that a society devoid of morals would be beneficial. I just want the right to flout those morals if they are not mine.
To me these are all variations on the same theme. Freedom to choose,
within the limits of not causing harm to others, is my right. It is also then my responsibility what consequences come of those choices. Law is key to an orderly, fruitful society and essential to quality of life for the members of the community who live under the law. A common sense of morals may be an important part of society (a whole other topic). But let us not mask moral certainty and judgment as law. They are not the same.
Freedom to be who I am, without apology, without being labeled-my defiant claim of right does not make it so.
Llewellyn says that there are two camps on rights: the idealists; and the cynics, or realists. The idealist sees rights as things. Primary rights are something such as my right to have you perform on your contract with me. They are not real in themselves, but are the substance of the law. Enforceability of that right is another, separate thing, and is not the primary thing. The right is, but the inability of the law to fully enforce it is not a problem. Remedies inadequate-these are not a conflict, because you still have your rights. This seems like cold comfort to the person who has been wronged.
The cynic/realist, on the other hand, sees rights as that which is enforceable, for which there is real remedy: if no remedy, no right. As he puts it "defect of remedy is defect of right." The law can really only be seen as it has effect, as it leaves its mark.
The power to be who we are is so fundamental it almost seems redundant to express it. While I would suggest that most of us feel constrained in some way by societal expectations, such core expressions as our gender identity, and our sexual identity are presumed rights for most Americans. These concepts of self have a profound impact on our daily lives, on almost every component of life. When that basic ability is withheld, it is not surprising that the damage includes a high rate of suicide and depression. Loss of control, of the right to choose, strips me of my value as a person, makes me insignificant in the larger whole. Worse, for the transgender person, it often makes them a freak, a deviant in the eyes of society. What then does the law do to ameliorate this situation?
H.L.A. Hart asks the question, "Is the fact that certain conduct is by common standards immoral sufficient to justify making that conduct punishable by law?” In the context of sexual identity and expression, when the majority of our society finds certain conduct immoral, does that justify laws proscribing such conduct? Is law the enforcement of morality, or are law and morals distinct and overlapping concepts?
I concur with John Stuart Mill when he said "The only purpose for which power can rightfully be exercised over any member of a civilised (sic) community against his will is to prevent harm to others." (On Liberty) He went on to clarify that one can not be made to do or forbear from doing something just because it is for his/her own physical or moral good.
Society, of course, can find its own ways to exert pressure, but when the law becomes a tool to secure conformity, then society is the loser as well as the individuals who are impacted. Hart says that to use coercion to maintain the moral status quo at any point in a society's history would be to artificially arrest the process that gives social institutions their value. I know so little about the law at this point, but it seems to me that a law such as the Federal Defense of Marriage Act is an example of just that kind of coercion. I don't suggest that a society devoid of morals would be beneficial. I just want the right to flout those morals if they are not mine.
To me these are all variations on the same theme. Freedom to choose,
within the limits of not causing harm to others, is my right. It is also then my responsibility what consequences come of those choices. Law is key to an orderly, fruitful society and essential to quality of life for the members of the community who live under the law. A common sense of morals may be an important part of society (a whole other topic). But let us not mask moral certainty and judgment as law. They are not the same.
Friday, May 4, 2012
what's real and what's imaginary
This has nothing to do with law school, but then I often veer off the path on this blog. In my neighborhood is a local dive bar which I wil call the Zoo. Not because it’s like a zoo, but because that is its name.
Vince owns the place, and he can often be found there behind the bar, entertaining, drinking and yukking it up with the usuals. There is a great sense of neighborliness to be found. Most know each other, and most are regulars.
Last night, Kathy was the bartender. She is 47 years old, but did not look it. She’s trying to quit smoking, been smoking since she was 14, and had had only 5 or so this week. Since she works Thursday and Sunday nights, and Friday and Saturday days, I’m guessing it’s easier to keep from smoking when you aren’t tending bar. When she took a box of empties out, she just vaulted the bar, rather than go the long way around.
Someone had a birthday, and another patron had made a cheesecake for him that melted in my mouth. Everyone at the bar got a piece.
It's the kind of place that should be the setting for a weekly TV series, but that most people wouldn't go to in real life. It's just a little too real, I think. And maybe a bit grimy.
I am attracted to this kind of place specifically because the veneer is either worn off or nearly so. They are not the pretty people, although some still think so after a drink or two.
The drinks are strong, and cheap, and for those who find their solace in a bottle, it's a womb of sorts, and quite possibly the path to something less than good. Still, it's a place where pretence is wasted and you can walk in as you are. It seems that often we have to hit bottom before we no longer feel the need to put on airs and judge our neighbor.
Vince owns the place, and he can often be found there behind the bar, entertaining, drinking and yukking it up with the usuals. There is a great sense of neighborliness to be found. Most know each other, and most are regulars.
Last night, Kathy was the bartender. She is 47 years old, but did not look it. She’s trying to quit smoking, been smoking since she was 14, and had had only 5 or so this week. Since she works Thursday and Sunday nights, and Friday and Saturday days, I’m guessing it’s easier to keep from smoking when you aren’t tending bar. When she took a box of empties out, she just vaulted the bar, rather than go the long way around.
Someone had a birthday, and another patron had made a cheesecake for him that melted in my mouth. Everyone at the bar got a piece.
It's the kind of place that should be the setting for a weekly TV series, but that most people wouldn't go to in real life. It's just a little too real, I think. And maybe a bit grimy.
I am attracted to this kind of place specifically because the veneer is either worn off or nearly so. They are not the pretty people, although some still think so after a drink or two.
The drinks are strong, and cheap, and for those who find their solace in a bottle, it's a womb of sorts, and quite possibly the path to something less than good. Still, it's a place where pretence is wasted and you can walk in as you are. It seems that often we have to hit bottom before we no longer feel the need to put on airs and judge our neighbor.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
the wheels have come off the wagon
I'm sure there's some rule about not posting when you are feeling low, but I don't know that rule. And besides, it seems like the best time to violate the rule.
Tonight I can't imagine why I've embarked on this law journey at this stage of my life. What the fuck was I thinking? Had our first class of Trial Practice, which promises to be fascinating, intimidating and a real stretch. And I'm ready tonight to give it up. What can I really expect to accomplish in my legal career with such a late start? Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.
Tonight I can't imagine why I've embarked on this law journey at this stage of my life. What the fuck was I thinking? Had our first class of Trial Practice, which promises to be fascinating, intimidating and a real stretch. And I'm ready tonight to give it up. What can I really expect to accomplish in my legal career with such a late start? Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.
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