I was asleep by 9 last night, and good thing, because I was awake this morning before 4. It turns out that Peet's doesn't open until 5:30, but the early morning was pleasant as I waited on the plaza steps. I drank my coffee, reviewed my outline and people watched, nodded to the music in my headphones and sometimes fretted.
I am trying to forget the last two days and focus on today-easy to say and a little harder to do. I don't know if I've done enough to pass, and I have a feeling that the ease I thought I'd find after this is over will be pockmarked with a new worry-what if I didn't pass? Already I can think of things I should have said, should not have said, MBE's I am sure I got wrong. Ahhh...the joy of the experience escapes me this morning.
I can see why people seek out others who also have just taken the exam, so that they can alternately disassemble the experience piece by piece, and then reassemble it into something they can live with for four months. On the other hand, part of me is tempted to avoid them altogether. What use is such false assurance anyway? Besides, I'm frightened of the abyss that is rimmed by realization that I missed something big.
I worked so hard for this, I can't imagine how I could have done it better. Which begs the question of what to do if I don't pass this thing. That question will have to wait, because I still have a job to do.
Time to step over the edge of today.
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