I decided to count the rows of tables this morning, because my computer was all set up and I had time to kill. 39 rows of 30. That's a lot of bar takers. Plus those in Santa Clara, Sacramento, San Diego, LA and maybe someplace else. Statistically we can't all pass. But it eludes me how to tell who is who.
The mood in the room has altered perceptibly today. Part of it is that we have all gotten somewhat familiar with our assigned seatmates but mostly it's the realization that we are almost done. The head proctor had no difficulty gaining our attention on Tuesday, but by noon today he had to ask us to quiet down. 1,100 plus of us, almost done. Hard to sit quietly with all that going on. Whether we have done enough to pass is an open question, but all that remains now is one 3 hour PT.
And then a drink or two and discovery of what lies beyond his herculean task.
I don't feel great about how I've done, nor do I feel I've surely failed. I'm somewhere in I-don't-know-and-I-won't-know-for-four-months. Well, fuck. I knew this was coming but I like it less now that it's here. Still, I have a rational understanding of the gift of this thing. Having done this, I know I am capable of more. And having to wait to learn the results is the only thing that makes my planned trip possible. So I shall stop whining shortly. In a little while.
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