I knew that it would have an effect to spend so much concentrated time with the same group of people. Gradually I have narrowed my focus even though I tried not to, eliminating time with those outside the circle of law due to pressure to study, but also because it's what I'm excited about these days.
It's hard to find time for everything and so I've dropped almost everything and everyone beyond law except family. And I'm not keeping up enough with my family either. In 3 more years, what will be left? I worry about that a little.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The aftermath
We had an extra class last night, and since it was a Friday, we carried it on to the bar. What a group we have become! I know enough to know that this is unique and special, and to appreciate it. It will change, of course, with the ending of the semester. We'll see each other again but it will be in a different mix.
The drinks were flowing, and the things that were said! Wonderful laughter and shared memories. And now today it's time to buckle down quite seriously, because exams are 3 weeks away. Makes me anxious and yet it's 5 pm and no studying done yet.
The drinks were flowing, and the things that were said! Wonderful laughter and shared memories. And now today it's time to buckle down quite seriously, because exams are 3 weeks away. Makes me anxious and yet it's 5 pm and no studying done yet.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
pity and hot tea
Today is pity party day at my house. I'm a little under the weather, a cold of sorts, and feeling just a bit left out. I had a hair appointment this morning, and I slept during much of it! Now I'm studying and drinking hot tea, and no doubt my mental outlook will be much improved tomorrow. Meanwhile, at least by now I know that feeling sorry for myself is pure self indulgence, and if I choose to partake anyway, then I do so at my own detriment. Regardless, I think a short period of self pity will not do a great deal of harm if I'm careful not to share it with others.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
life after exams
So I have finally decided, and bought my tickets. I’m off to DC after exams, and I plan to sit in on a Supreme Court session. How cool is that!? I think SCOTUS is awe-inspiring and just to sit in the same room with them will be breathtaking.
Hard to lose what we've had this year. I know I'll be right back at it in just a week or so after the last exam. But it will no longer be the same mix of students, the same professors and the same familiar subjects. Yet another transition to be made.
Hard to lose what we've had this year. I know I'll be right back at it in just a week or so after the last exam. But it will no longer be the same mix of students, the same professors and the same familiar subjects. Yet another transition to be made.
quirks and conviviality
I have hesitated to write about any particular personalities in our class, in the interest of respecting peoples’ privacy.
Suffice it to say we have an eclectic mix. One I have mentioned previously. She is a lovely (beautiful inside and out) young woman who emigrated here from Uganda with her American husband, who is 20 years older than she is. She has a delightful laugh, incredible bones and when called upon in class, she takes her time, as would a gracious lady, composing her thoughts and then bringing out something that is cogent, with a nice melody and accent in her voice. She is beautiful to listen to. She is my row mate-we have sat with one seat between us since the very first night of class.
We have someone who keeps his thoughts pretty close to the vest, but at times both his humor and his story leak out in a delightful display of humanity. He is, I think, the lynch pin in our unspoken tolerance rule. He treats each person with respect and courtesy, regardless of the behavior of the other or their position in the pecking order. It is clear that he engenders trust, as he has befriended a man with many scars, who has an incredible personal story, and has apparently earned his trust.
We have a young lady who is raising her own young daughter and 3 siblings, all while working part time and going to school. She frequently appears stretched and pulled but still put together. She is good friends with another classmate and appears to have become good friends with another younger student. In fact, socially we seem to divide based mostly on age, with the exception of those in the middle. They may go either way. And Abigail. She seems to be older than she is, because she has such poise.
We have a union activist, a law enforcement officer, a flooring salesman, a retired Marine and several other kinds of people. We have more women than men, although that will change in the fall, as the class that will join us is predominantly men. There are more middle aged students than post-college age, and perhaps that has colored our experience in class more than I realized. We know who we are, we know why we are there and we also know that there is more to life than law. I like that part of being middle aged, just not the ‘aged’ part.
Suffice it to say we have an eclectic mix. One I have mentioned previously. She is a lovely (beautiful inside and out) young woman who emigrated here from Uganda with her American husband, who is 20 years older than she is. She has a delightful laugh, incredible bones and when called upon in class, she takes her time, as would a gracious lady, composing her thoughts and then bringing out something that is cogent, with a nice melody and accent in her voice. She is beautiful to listen to. She is my row mate-we have sat with one seat between us since the very first night of class.
We have someone who keeps his thoughts pretty close to the vest, but at times both his humor and his story leak out in a delightful display of humanity. He is, I think, the lynch pin in our unspoken tolerance rule. He treats each person with respect and courtesy, regardless of the behavior of the other or their position in the pecking order. It is clear that he engenders trust, as he has befriended a man with many scars, who has an incredible personal story, and has apparently earned his trust.
We have a young lady who is raising her own young daughter and 3 siblings, all while working part time and going to school. She frequently appears stretched and pulled but still put together. She is good friends with another classmate and appears to have become good friends with another younger student. In fact, socially we seem to divide based mostly on age, with the exception of those in the middle. They may go either way. And Abigail. She seems to be older than she is, because she has such poise.
We have a union activist, a law enforcement officer, a flooring salesman, a retired Marine and several other kinds of people. We have more women than men, although that will change in the fall, as the class that will join us is predominantly men. There are more middle aged students than post-college age, and perhaps that has colored our experience in class more than I realized. We know who we are, we know why we are there and we also know that there is more to life than law. I like that part of being middle aged, just not the ‘aged’ part.
study group II
Study group on Monday is a loose thing, but lately we’ve been focusing on one particular issue, and stopping at 2 hours. Now that we are far enough into the subject, that seems to be working. This week it’s third party beneficiaries, assignment and delegation. And then I think on Wednesday a small group of us will meet to study that again, because our regular Contracts class is cancelled next week. So hopefully I’ll have it down by the end of those 2 sessions.
I am not sure what I want to do about study group from here on out. I believe we’ll lose Abigail anyway, as she is only taking enough classes to get to sit for the bar, having already passed the bar in Uganda. And Peter and Andrew have each had one foot out the door all along. I don’t want to do just a 2 person study group, so that would mean reorganization. Or should I not bother? I do get something out of them, in spite of what Dave said. We are pretty disciplined about getting down to business. And I have a feeling it contributes to my sense of community, and also helps keep me disciplined about getting my reading done by end of day Sunday.
Is it wrong to be selective about who I study with? Seems like it either needs to be a select group, or a larger walk-in kind of structure, where whoever shows up discusses whatever subject they want to with anyone else who also wants to work on that topic. But that could end up being social hour.
I am not sure what I want to do about study group from here on out. I believe we’ll lose Abigail anyway, as she is only taking enough classes to get to sit for the bar, having already passed the bar in Uganda. And Peter and Andrew have each had one foot out the door all along. I don’t want to do just a 2 person study group, so that would mean reorganization. Or should I not bother? I do get something out of them, in spite of what Dave said. We are pretty disciplined about getting down to business. And I have a feeling it contributes to my sense of community, and also helps keep me disciplined about getting my reading done by end of day Sunday.
Is it wrong to be selective about who I study with? Seems like it either needs to be a select group, or a larger walk-in kind of structure, where whoever shows up discusses whatever subject they want to with anyone else who also wants to work on that topic. But that could end up being social hour.
dilution of community
Interesting to observe the interaction between classmates. By all accounts, our class is more social and more connected than the average class at our law school. I’m not sure why that is, perhaps it is due to the mix of personalities. For whatever reason, there is an expectation and attitude of tolerance and acceptance.
I’m told that in the next year, most classes end up being more contentious. The students with the lowest grades are looked down on and the students with the highest are perhaps admired but also resented. Hmmm….I think perhaps the addition of the January starts to our fall semester will result in a dilution of our tolerance and group identity. I hope not though, and I am looking for ways to mitigate that risk. Some sort of party? Some venue for interaction wherein we assert influence on their approach, rather than vice versa. Is that social engineering?
I enjoy the sense of community we have, and I’d like to see it perpetuated. I know we can have little groups, but I would like to see some larger joinder as well.
I’m told that in the next year, most classes end up being more contentious. The students with the lowest grades are looked down on and the students with the highest are perhaps admired but also resented. Hmmm….I think perhaps the addition of the January starts to our fall semester will result in a dilution of our tolerance and group identity. I hope not though, and I am looking for ways to mitigate that risk. Some sort of party? Some venue for interaction wherein we assert influence on their approach, rather than vice versa. Is that social engineering?
I enjoy the sense of community we have, and I’d like to see it perpetuated. I know we can have little groups, but I would like to see some larger joinder as well.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
one shovel at a time
The time changed today, springing forward. It's a gloomy Sunday morning, and I have studying to do. I also just remembered that I have to do my taxes, and the deadline for taxes is smack dab in the middle of final exams. I think I had better reevaluate how I spend whatever free time I have in the next month. If you like to garden, as I do, then this time of year brings many activities, all fun. But I think I had better consider my priorities before I commit to something I can't do. I can already feel myself starting to hyperventilate as I look at the next month. If I only wanted to pass, it would be less stressful, but of course, overachiever that I am, I want more than that. We do tend to dig our own graves, don't we.
Friday, March 11, 2011
the overflowing cup of life
Page 1000 in Torts, and still going. Not strong, but going. 200 more to go. But who's counting? It's Friday night, the end of a very long week at work. Classes are really good, love it. I would immerse myself in it if I could. But real life keeps poking its head up and reminding me I need to get the mail, go to the bank, get groceries and do the laundry.
I have seedlings under lights in the garage for the garden, excited about my back yard. And I'm getting a chicken coop tomorrow and having brunch with a friend. And 200 pages of Torts.
I'm weary and yet full of excitement, so that it's hard to turn it off and go to sleep at night. Consequently, I end up sleep deprived by the end of the week, because when the alarm goes off, work calls, regardless of how exciting the study of law is.
I have seedlings under lights in the garage for the garden, excited about my back yard. And I'm getting a chicken coop tomorrow and having brunch with a friend. And 200 pages of Torts.
I'm weary and yet full of excitement, so that it's hard to turn it off and go to sleep at night. Consequently, I end up sleep deprived by the end of the week, because when the alarm goes off, work calls, regardless of how exciting the study of law is.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
use of force
Are you a Bernie fan? Our class seems to be pretty divided in this case. One person was living in New York at the time of the Goetz shooting. Most felt that his pulling the gun and maybe even shooting the first two who were very close to him may have been justified. Almost universally the opinion was that the third young man's shooting was unjustified, because he was retreating, and the fourth, the one Goetz went back to shoot after surveying the scene, was not justified in anyone's mind. The fourth young man had clearly withdrawn, yet Goetz shot him anyway.
-Reasonable force is allowed when necessary to prevent the harm threatened.
-A reasonable person in the same circumstances would have believed themselves to be in imminent harm
The questions are:
whether to own a gun?
How bad does it have to get before I will be justified in defending myself with deadly force, and not be sending myself to prison? It seems it depends on what jurisdiction you live in.
Can I use force to defend myself against the snails who attack my garden? I hope so, because I squashed 5 of them on Sunday.
-Reasonable force is allowed when necessary to prevent the harm threatened.
-A reasonable person in the same circumstances would have believed themselves to be in imminent harm
The questions are:
whether to own a gun?
How bad does it have to get before I will be justified in defending myself with deadly force, and not be sending myself to prison? It seems it depends on what jurisdiction you live in.
Can I use force to defend myself against the snails who attack my garden? I hope so, because I squashed 5 of them on Sunday.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
the path taken
Nearly the end of the first year. On to 2L status, or so I hope! The exams are yet to come, and so I must wait to be sure of my status. But I can dare to hope, based on my midterm grades.
Still trying to decide how to spend my break between the spring and summer terms. Travel? or get things done in preparation for the summer term? I feel myself being pulled inexorably toward travel, like a car sliding slowly into the ditch on a snowy, icy road. Alas, I fear I cannot resist.
Oddly, a touch of sadness at the ending of this term as well. We 20 became we 15 or so along the way, but we also developed a real sense of camaraderie, I would suppose in part as a result of the intensity of the experience, the amount of time we spend together each week and the particular makeup of our class/group. I know this summer that will be partially diluted, as we move into other classes and other configurations. We will reconvene in the fall, whoever has not left, and then will need to assimilate the other 2L's from this spring/summer sessions. While no doubt that will bear its own lovely fruit, I will be sad to see this freshman year end. Our relative naivete and belief in the power of law to do justice, our excitement at the study of it, all of this will never be quite what it was this year. I have made some friends that I expect will carry on for years-something that is not easily done in midlife. I treasure this gift, and I am able to recognize at this point in my life just how valuable that is.
I also can now see other benefits of embarking on a challenging path at this point in life. While it seems a bit crazy to decide to spend 4 years in law school in my early 50's rather than enjoying my nights and weekends doing things I like to do, I can already see tremendous benefit on a personal level that I still find hard to put to words.
I am energized by this study of law, I look forward to classes, I enjoy the online Symposium discussions, the pre and post class questions and answers we give each other, the history and dignity of what the law can be (yes, I recognize there is an uglier side as well, but that comes with all things human).
I thought that it would be tough to get my brain working the way it would need to for school, but it apparently had not really atrophied, it was just out of shape. And the sense of community that our class has feeds me on an almost spiritual level-I like to feel a part of a community, and I often struggle with that due to my independence and visceral objection to being status quo. My classmates seem to accept each other as we are, and that is heartwarming to say the least. Human nature being what it is, I know there is more going on underneath, but I don't have a problem with that-it's going on inside all of us.
Every time I think my life is in a rut, with options diminishing, some new door opens. It almost always comes with some sort of pain or loss, but the gain on the other side has nearly always been worth it. This new path is far well worth it. I'll check back with you in 3 years and again in 10 so we can see what the perspective of time will give!
Still trying to decide how to spend my break between the spring and summer terms. Travel? or get things done in preparation for the summer term? I feel myself being pulled inexorably toward travel, like a car sliding slowly into the ditch on a snowy, icy road. Alas, I fear I cannot resist.
Oddly, a touch of sadness at the ending of this term as well. We 20 became we 15 or so along the way, but we also developed a real sense of camaraderie, I would suppose in part as a result of the intensity of the experience, the amount of time we spend together each week and the particular makeup of our class/group. I know this summer that will be partially diluted, as we move into other classes and other configurations. We will reconvene in the fall, whoever has not left, and then will need to assimilate the other 2L's from this spring/summer sessions. While no doubt that will bear its own lovely fruit, I will be sad to see this freshman year end. Our relative naivete and belief in the power of law to do justice, our excitement at the study of it, all of this will never be quite what it was this year. I have made some friends that I expect will carry on for years-something that is not easily done in midlife. I treasure this gift, and I am able to recognize at this point in my life just how valuable that is.
I also can now see other benefits of embarking on a challenging path at this point in life. While it seems a bit crazy to decide to spend 4 years in law school in my early 50's rather than enjoying my nights and weekends doing things I like to do, I can already see tremendous benefit on a personal level that I still find hard to put to words.
I am energized by this study of law, I look forward to classes, I enjoy the online Symposium discussions, the pre and post class questions and answers we give each other, the history and dignity of what the law can be (yes, I recognize there is an uglier side as well, but that comes with all things human).
I thought that it would be tough to get my brain working the way it would need to for school, but it apparently had not really atrophied, it was just out of shape. And the sense of community that our class has feeds me on an almost spiritual level-I like to feel a part of a community, and I often struggle with that due to my independence and visceral objection to being status quo. My classmates seem to accept each other as we are, and that is heartwarming to say the least. Human nature being what it is, I know there is more going on underneath, but I don't have a problem with that-it's going on inside all of us.
Every time I think my life is in a rut, with options diminishing, some new door opens. It almost always comes with some sort of pain or loss, but the gain on the other side has nearly always been worth it. This new path is far well worth it. I'll check back with you in 3 years and again in 10 so we can see what the perspective of time will give!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
wrapping up the reading
I have finished the case book reading for both Criminal Law and Contracts. Still a lot of pages left in Torts-to no one's surprise! I am so relieved to be done with the other reading but that is really false comfort. Now the really hard part begins. I have to take all the notes, outlines and other information and come up with a reasonable representation of the law that I need to know for each subject. I need to take a lot of practice exams as well, and find a way to get better at MBE's.
And then there is the garden, seeds to start, grass to mow, groceries to buy, clothes to launder. And work...
Still, I feel that I have accomplished something hard today. Tomorrow...torts.
And then there is the garden, seeds to start, grass to mow, groceries to buy, clothes to launder. And work...
Still, I feel that I have accomplished something hard today. Tomorrow...torts.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
pain and gain
In R. v Brown, House of Lords, 1993, the court found that one cannot consent to violence against their person. Why then do we allow boxing or football? Why is consensual sado-masochism between consenting adults, wherein safety measures were taken, so different?
So many situations seem to proffer a hard line rule, but when one looks at all the ways the rule could be used, it becomes clear that it is really quite murky after all. As the professor said tonight, we ask the criminal law to do more than what it is really capable of doing well. Humans find such creative ways to harm each other and there are only so many ways the law can address that. Still I can think of ways I'd like to see it do a better job.
Coming from the viewpoint of a middle-aged law student, I see the law in a different light than I would have had I gone to law school fresh out of college. And I see its imperfections in a different light as well. From a theoretical perspective, it all works out in the long run but on a case by case basis there is so much injustice done in the name of the law. Sometimes one gets as much justice as one can afford, which negatively impacts the ones who have the least opportunity to control their own destinies.
I regret the lost time but I am glad for the perspective I have now.
So many situations seem to proffer a hard line rule, but when one looks at all the ways the rule could be used, it becomes clear that it is really quite murky after all. As the professor said tonight, we ask the criminal law to do more than what it is really capable of doing well. Humans find such creative ways to harm each other and there are only so many ways the law can address that. Still I can think of ways I'd like to see it do a better job.
Coming from the viewpoint of a middle-aged law student, I see the law in a different light than I would have had I gone to law school fresh out of college. And I see its imperfections in a different light as well. From a theoretical perspective, it all works out in the long run but on a case by case basis there is so much injustice done in the name of the law. Sometimes one gets as much justice as one can afford, which negatively impacts the ones who have the least opportunity to control their own destinies.
I regret the lost time but I am glad for the perspective I have now.
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