to breathe

This second year is worrisome. I'm drowning, and it's only 3 weeks in. And life presses ever more insistently. I owe a piece of myself to others, and I'm slowly sinking in a morass of beloved obligation. Meanwhile, my yard continues to look like shit, I'm behind on paying bills, and I worry about my job. My car needs fixed, I want to get a motorcycle and I need to plan my son's graduation celebration. And I try to fit in some sanity inducing time with friends and my brother as well. Brreeeaaattthhheee..... It's all I can do just to hang on. Feeling all alone and desperate these days. On to Real Property tonight. Paying bills at 6 am tomorrow, and hoping to stay one step ahead of disaster. And trying to look serene through it all. Perhaps I'm doing too much, but none of these things are easy to delete from my life. Nor do I want to give them up.