time to pay the piper

You may have gathered that I like studying the law, I like law school, and all that goes with it (except paying tuition). Ah, but today is a different day. It's exam day once again. In a couple of hours, my Con Law mid-term will commence. It is hard to explain the gamut of feelings I have on days like this. Just 10 minutes ago, I was calm, sure and at ease, and now I'm nigh unto panic. Back and forth I go. Trying to remember that I've done what I can, time to just do it. It's hard to describe the way these exams loom so large in our minds. They are the sum total of our grades, nothing else matters. Even so, I don't quite know why they have such capacity to club us over the head. If asked, I would normally say I like exams. That was before law school, of course. I'll like this one too in about 5 hours. I know this is essentially self inflicted.

There are a few things I try to do for my law school exams, to reduce the anxiety, or at least manage it. Each of us has our own formula, or routine, sort of like the baseball player that always wears his lucky socks.

First, I go to work. I work from 6 or 7 am until 12 or so, and it helps keep my mind busy, and calms me. Throughout the afternoon, I review my notes, not to try to memorize anything, but to keep it fresh in my mind. I listen to music on my ipod, I check Facebook, read emails, make phone calls, etc.

About an hour before the exam, when the anxiety starts to peak, I set up my laptop, then walk circuits around the halls of the school, listening to music and just trying to keep my core outline in my head.

When I sit down with the exam, I do two things. Before I open the test and start reading, I write that core outline down on the scratch paper at my table. That way, at some point when I either freak out, or can't think of anything else to discuss, I have something to go back to. The other thing I do is remember that I have done hard things before, and I can do this. I just have to do it. There really isn't an alternative if I want to continue on this path, so this thing just needs done.

Nothing magic about my approach, to be sure. Not exactly life skills, but right now it's about surviving this evening. Everything else is in abeyance.