I fear I have lapsed into that thing I did not want to become. Not lazy exactly, but incapable of keeping all the balls in the air, and so resorting to sleight of hand and other means to give the appearance of keeping up. And missing out on the real stuff in the process.
So many things to learn and know, and I am watching time march by. There will not be more years to do this.
I'm tired, so weary that I must find rest, and then the rest just drugs me into stupor. Funny how this is, because this year's school demands are diminished materially from second year. The time I have gained has been filled thrice over, and here I am again, lost in a tornado of life to be lived. I'm not sure this is living anymore. It's not really a material struggle either, it's more about grabbing every opportunity I can, and meeting every challenge, never saying "I can't." Which makes for one tired person with nothing meaningful to contribute.
I cannot even imagine slowing down this merry-go-round, I fear I might come to a stop and never start again.
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