The adventures of a middle aged law student

Monday, January 6, 2014

From whence cometh my help?

I like to think I mostly have my shit together by this point in my life.  I have self identified as a cynical pollyanna type, which means that while I see no long term hope for humankind, tomorrow looks rosy.

Ah but today, today was a very dark day, for no one reason, and for all reasons.  It's reasonable that I would be somewhat thrown off by the recent uncertainty about my job due to a pending merger, and it's rational to feel anxiety when I think about the Bar Exam that looms ever closer.  And the dark days of winter have cast their seasonal pall about me.  What surprises and disappoints me is how vulnerable I am to all these outside influences.

I thought I had just such marrow in my bones but today I am not able to locate it, if it is there.  Tomorrow may be better.

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